Welcome To Heartbreak.

Well if no one really understood my reasoning for believing this song was the diary of my life then maybe this blog will clear things up to those who have failed to realize:

I'm fucking lonely as fuck.

I feel like I've wasted the past 5 years of my life.
3 of them with a guy that couldn't even provide for us when shit got hard. A man that wasn't a man but a boy trapped in a mind frame that the Disney channel was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
A man I became visually repulsed by.

The other two years?
In and out of lust with faces and got burned yet again by some dude everyone else believed in.

All this time I've been attempting to find myself in another eyes never catching the reflection of a decaying child.

I'm a child.
I'm not a woman.
I front for everyone in hopes to never be seen for what I truly am...

I have nothing but a roof over my head, my kittens and prob a name full of debts created by those I trusted in my name. I don't have steady friends and always something like a ghost to many. The only major factors in my life are ignorant niggas I clutch onto.


I'm always wrong and I play games to pass the time away and to take focus away from the fact that I'm unhappy and my misery shouldn't be only felt by me.

There's a reason why I don't speak much these days.


I had my poetry but even my love with that go killed due to others actions...now I just write.post.and wonder if its even great enough to share.


My heart hurts...really...

I don't know what I want anymore...

I don't have goals...

I don't have shit.

And at times I can't even express myself because its claimed to be me taking pity on myself when in all realness this is my fucking life.

I live a fucked life.

My faith in love has rapidly decreased and without love in my life I have nothing.

Not exactly love for another person but love for something or passion for something. Without a passion I feel like I have been feeling for the past 2 months.

Lifeless.




Now judge me, make your opinions and pre write the pep talks.

I'm not really trying to hear it right now.


Give me something to believe in more than just myself or something I can do.

And if you can then maybe I'll smile.

Until then...