The List

In the fighting spirit of finding the "one" I think I'll make a DO NOT
APPLY IF list in hopes that it will shed light on some rather "gray"
areas.

NO PETTY DOPEBOYS - Hunny I'm not going to lose sleep everynight because
you wanna nickel & dime it up for nothing more than a 40 to 60 dollar
profit nightly. You either give me a big reason or reason ya ass out my
face

NO DL\CONFUSED\EXTRA FEMININE MEN - I'm already emotional what they hell
I need with your gender confused ass? One minute you showing me who's
boss next minute you clutching a pillow tight sniffing my lingering
perfume? Nawwwww playa
(And no this isn't a jab at gays)

NO "SHOULDA WOULDA COULDA" DUDES - Don't expect me to pat you on the
back about your failed attempts at a better life. Shit happens so make
the best of it! Dwelling on a "possible" record deal offered to you at
16 & you now 32 isn't a good look..

NO CABLE ZOMBIE HOUSE NI**GAS! - I promise you this now if you think
I'ma let you sit in ya boxers all day watching TV ... you got another
thing coming brother & its probably a pot to the head!

NO PORN-O-HOLICS - When I roll over to sleep at night I expect to not
awake to the sights & sounds of your extra lubed up shlong enjoying the
view of some chick getting rammed when WE fornicate more than twice a
day! If you need that much sexual stimulation I suggest you apply for a
starring role & fuck off (literally)

NO LAMES\SUPER GEEKS\NEVER BEEN KISSED\MAMAS BOYS - I can't teach you
how to be a man nor how to enjoy the world outside of a 17 inch monitor.
I can't compete with mother & I won't

NO I'VE BEEN HURT & ALL FEMALES ARE THE SAME MOTTO BELIEVERS! - If I
have to compete against all your failed relationships because you on ya
"Jack I'll never let go Whitney Houston from The Bodyguard bullshit...
I'm good

NO MANLAW\CODE OF THE PLAYA HANDBOOK FOLLOWING\I'M A JIGGALO MAKING NO
DOUGH DUDES - You're a walking disease breeding new viruses infecting
the minds of my strong women poisoning them to believe you are as good
as it gets which is CLEARLY NOT THE CASE
NO NO & NO AGAIN TO ALL THE FOLLOWING...

If you judge every move humans make
If you can't name 5 Marvin Gaye songs excluding What's Going On, Sexual
Healing, & Mercy Mercy Me (Ecology) without looking them up
If you feel the need to tell me I need to lose weight
If you think poetry is a waste of time
If you think the word "epiphany" is a code name for some bomb ass bud
If you type like this " $h@wty w@$$ gOOdii3?!?"
If you ugly with an ego as huge as Rich Boy's head
If you have never been but 10 blocks away from your crib
If you think "pulling your dick out" will woo me
If you like to waste other peoples time
If you think money really makes my heart jump & panties drop
If you really think I'm not serious about this list

I'm sorry you have been automatically rejected before hand & I wish you
well on finding the woman who loves you for who YOU are but I'm not
prepared to deal with ya

Thank you for your interest in Candice Townsend & her goodie bag

Have a wonderful life

Ps the list for females coming soon
--archaic.bliss